16 How Do You Decide on Christian School?

Ken and his wife had reached the point that they had to make a decision. They’d been thinking about sending their child to Christian school for the better part of a year. They had informed the school of their probable intent to do so, so that the school could reserve their child an enrollment slot. But now, the school had notified them that the time had come to sign the tuition agreement and make the deposit. The problem was that Ken and his wife seemed no further in their thoughts on the subject than they had been when they started. And they had no clear idea of how to proceed to make the best decision. 

Process

The process you follow can be important to making a discerning, sound, satisfying, and successful decision. Whether your decision-making process positively affects and informs the decision you make or not, following a sound process may reveal to you valuable things you would not otherwise have discovered. Your decision-making process about your child’s Christian schooling can help you make the right decision. Yet your decision-making process can also teach you things about your child, your family, and the school that you would not have otherwise known. So, both to make the best decision and to inform and prepare yourself for the consequences, follow a sound and deliberative process for deciding whether to send your child to Christian school. Rushing or stumbling into an ill-considered decision may mean you’ll make the wrong decision or, having made the right decision, fail to appreciate the valuable insights and reasons you could have had for doing so. Consider the following deliberative process for deciding whether to send your child to Christian school. 

Prayer

Prayer is properly the first activity to which Christians turn when facing significant decisions. To say it more clearly, God is the first one to whom Christians turn when facing significant decisions like whether to enroll their children in Christian school. Prayer is a conversation with God. God answers prayers that Christians make for guidance on decisions. God’s answer may be in thoughts or scriptures that immediately come to mind as you pray. God’s answer may instead be in emotions, gleanings, whispers, and intuitions his Spirit stirs deep within you as you pray and listen. His answer may alternatively be in thoughts, scriptures, inferences, or intuitions that arise later, soon after or well after you have prayed. Praying together with your spouse and, if your child is old enough, with your child may also be appropriate. Invoking others to pray for your decision may also be wise. You may also find it appropriate to pray over scripture, on your knees or in another humble posture, or during a fast in which you and your spouse engage to heighten your ability to discern and listen. Whatever your prayer preference, discipline, and practices, ask God to show you what he desires for your child’s education. 

Intuition

The prior paragraph has already mentioned that your intuition can be a sound way to proceed with a decision on your child’s Christian education. Our conscious reasoning can miss the subtle subliminal and unarticulated things that may lead you to the best decision. Deliberate thought can also be a clumsy and even inadequate way to weigh the potentially dozens of factors that should go into a sound decision on your child’s education. Intuiting the answer, rather than talking your way into the decision, can be a preferred means. One way to do so is to imagine that you’ve firmly committed to the decision, one way or the other, while then giving yourself a few days to see how you feel about the decision. If you experience overwhelming regret, then you may need to reconsider the decision. In those few days that you give yourself to consider how you feel about having decided, you may also see patterns and signs pointing you in that direction or another direction. God works in mysterious ways. Respect the depth of your soul and the Spirit’s sensitive way of communicating with you, sometimes through the smallest whispers of intuition. 

Providence

The prior paragraph already briefly mentioned how God may use small providences and events that would ordinarily appear to be random fortuity, to lead you in the right path and toward the right decision. The providence might be a sudden and unexplained opening for enrollment in your child’s preferred Christian school program or schedule. Or the providence might be a financial windfall or tuition scholarship that suddenly and unexpectedly makes the financial part of the enrollment decision much easier. A meaningful fortuity might include learning that a good acquaintance whom you’d already met and with whom you would like to form a friendship has a child enrolled at the Christian school you are considering. Another meaningful fortuity might be that you learn that a couple whom you know and trust have offered to give your child a ride to and from the Christian school, anytime you and your spouse would find it helpful. Big and obvious things matter in making decisions. You and your spouse will likely give substantial attention to those big and obvious factors affecting your decision. But don’t ignore the providences, especially as they may be ways in which God has chosen to communicate with you. 

Deliberation

Prayer, providences, and intuition aside, you and your spouse should discuss, reflect, and deeply deliberate over the decision to send your child to Christian school, in whatever fruitful manner to which the two of you have grown accustomed. Arguments, of course, don’t help. Neither do demands, duress, and coercion. Some parents do well negotiating over decisions, making compromises in deliberate exchange for the other spouse’s compromise. Transactional decision-making between parents, though, can prove challenging and even hazardous. Married couples with children shouldn’t generally be making deals because deals get evaluated, enforced, and broken. One hopes instead that a married couple can reach agreement without seeing the decision as a bargained-for exchange. Yet consider each other’s views and how the decision will affect not only your child but also each other, your marriage, and the family. The decision may also not be an all-or-nothing thing. The Christian school you are considering may, for instance, have alternative programs, schedules, or start dates for your child’s enrollment. Listen to one another, and explore alternatives until the two of you confidently and cordially agree. 

Investigation

Informed decisions make for better decisions than uninformed decisions. You may have substantial research and investigation you need to complete before deciding whether to send your child to Christian school. Some of the facts and conditions you may need to determine before deciding include: what Christian schools are available in your area for your child; what faith tradition the school practices; the faith doctrines in which the school instructs; enrollment dates and openings; school start, end, and vacation dates; tuition cost and adjustments including scholarship availability; transportation availability; surround care availability; curriculum features including special programs; co-curricular and extracurricular activities; and facilities including not just classroom design and furnishings but also auditorium, gymnasium, cafeteria, library, and outdoor playgrounds and athletics fields. You may also wish to review the candidate school’s student and parent handbooks, which should disclose significant school policies. You may also want to identify school board members, the school principal, school administrators, and school teachers and aides, and their qualifications. Confirming school accreditation can also be important. Research until your investigation satisfies you that you know the school well. Then use your research results in your deliberations.

Consultation

Your decision whether to enroll your child in Christian school may also benefit from consultation with others. For instance, review the school’s website for parent testimonials. Get parent insight and recommendations both by asking the school to provide parent references and by using word of mouth through your community contacts. Beware word of mouth from individuals closely associated with the public schools or competitor private schools. Bad-mouthing competitors happens in education, much as it does in other fields and endeavors. You have no obligation, either, to listen to a Christian school representative who bad-mouths a competitor school. Rely most on the insight and evaluation of individuals who have no conflict of interest, axe to grind, or bone to pick. When the school’s representatives offer a tour, accept the offer. When you meet people in and around the school, including not only staff members and administrators but also students and parents, ask them directly what they like most about the school and if they have any area where they’d like the school to do better. If your child has a disability or special need, consult the professionals who address that need for their own insight on the candidate school’s fitness for your child’s enrollment. 

Factors

One common way of making a reasoned decision about any major subject is to list the factors for which your decision should account. You can then rate the factors as a positive or negative for your child’s candidate schools, including the Christian school you are considering. You can also assign weight to each factor to make the ratings more sensitive. The school with the better total rating may then be your child’s best school. The list of research topics in one of the above paragraphs is a good place to start for the factors to consider. But add anything else to the list that makes sense to you, your child, and your family. For instance, you may want to consider the school’s alumni, the next school graduates generally attend, the school’s financial stability, the gifts, personality, and experience of the school’s teachers, or simply whether your child likes the playground and has friends already attending the school. Keep in mind, though, that the conversations you have with your spouse and child over the list of factors may inform you more about the best decision than any rating, ranking, tabulation, and comparison you actually make using the list. And if your list shows you a clear favorite between candidate schools, see how you feel about that revelation. If it feels wrong to you, then you may be better off going with your gut reaction, which might be your deeper intuition telling you something. 

Outcomes

The prior chapter addressed Christian school outcomes in general. The outcomes of the specific Christian school that you are considering for your child are perhaps the most-important measurable factor. For instance, you can ask the school to share state standardized average test scores for each subject and each grade level at the school, using whatever tests the school implements. Have the school leader or enrollment coordinator explain the test scores to you, relative to state and national standards. Evaluate how your candidate school is doing on those academic measures. Ask for other data that the school has on student behavior, student discipline, student retention and progression, and any other measure of student performance, character, and experience. Think again of what outcomes you want for your child, and ask the school enrollment coordinator or leader what data the school can show on those measures. 

Evidence

The better the quality of your evidence on which you base a major decision, the better the quality of your decision is likely to be. While school data, school marketing materials, parent testimonials, alumni recommendations, and professional consultations can all help you make an informed decision about your child’s Christian school enrollment, your own observations may be your most-reliable and highest-quality evidence. The more you observe a community or organization, the more you generally learn. If your child is still months or years away from school enrollment, make a practice now of personally observing the Christian school you are considering for your child’s enrollment. Attend every open house the school offers. Walk or drive by the school regularly, at all hours, on all days, and in all seasons. Stop and speak with anyone you encounter, whether they are neighbors of the school, contractors or suppliers to the school, school staff, or school parents, to see what you learn. Most of all, observe the school’s students for their engagement, energy, dress, demeanor, attitude, and conduct, while observing school personnel for how they treat the students. Imagine your child there, and then discern how you’d feel about it. The proof of program quality is in the evidence it produces, just as you know authentic Christians by the love they show you. 

Reflection

How do you and your spouse make sound decisions together? What have you and your spouse already done to decide whether your child should attend Christian school? What do you feel you still have to do to have all the information and perspectives you need for a good decision? Have you prayed earnestly over your child’s best school choice? If so, what answers did you discern from prayer or from events that occurred after prayer, relating to the decision? Do you have medical or other professionals with whom you should consult about the school choice, relative to your child’s special needs or condition? Have you listed factors that should or could influence your decision, weighed those factors, and found them pointing you toward or away from a certain school? If so, how do you feel about what the results purported to show you? What measurable outcomes have you examined relative to the candidate school? Have you made substantial personal observations of the school and its students, staff members, volunteers, facilities, and programs? 

Key Points

• Follow a sound decision-making process for the best school choice.

• Commit to prayer the decision where your child should attend school.

• Value your intuition and that of your spouse as to your child’s school.

• Watch for God’s providence to direct you toward the best school choice.

• Deliberate earnestly and respectfully with your spouse and child.

• Consult any professional or other person who may inform your choice.

• Consider and weigh the long list of factors that influence a good choice.

• Research and assess the candidate school’s measurable outcomes.

• Use your own observations as the most-reliable evidence to choose.

Read Chapter 16.