15 What Will My End Be Like?
Dinah knew her sister’s life was finally at its very end. Dinah had stood vigil for days on end at the foot of her sister’s bed in the small, private nursing home room. Friends had come and gone in a silent stream, staying long enough to comfort Dinah while her sister lay sleeping or quietly and unconsciously murmuring in the bed. Dinah prayed with most visitors, each time slowly filling the room with a spirit that was both heavy with dignity and light in its wonder. Each time Dinah and her friends prayed in low voices and whispers, her dying sister seemed to listen, not opening her eyes but growing still in the bed and even turning her ear to catch their murmurs and whispers. And then, with the last visit of the last friend, it happened: what Dinah and her friend could describe in no other way than the appearance of an angel with them at the foot of the bed, Dinah’s sister opened her eyes wide to say in a clear and joyful voice, “I’m coming, my Lord!”
End
We each at some point reach the very end of our earthly life. Mercifully, we generally don’t know much in advance exactly when that point will come. We may have only hours or days left, or instead weeks or months. But in many instances, that point becomes clear enough as it approaches. One cannot confirm with anyone that they in fact clearly saw their end at its very last approach. Once they’ve departed, no one remains to ask. Yet whether mythical or not, accounts record many figures, some famous, sharing their last words, apparently quite cognizant that those words would be their last. Likely, a good number of the dying have at least a good glimpse of its final approach. And thus, it’s something for which to prepare.
Preparation
This guide’s whole premise is that we are generally best when prepared for the final leg of our journey to transcendence. The above chapters all argue, assert, or suggest that our preparation for the swift or slow final transition to our mysteriously transcendent condition can smooth, comfort, ease, and assure our steady course. Much of the above advice has had to do with practical things like healthcare, finances, housing, and property. A good bit of the above advice has also had to do with relationships, especially with family members but also with friends, neighbors, co-workers, caretakers, and other acquaintances. But the biggest consideration, the thing most important to you to clearly work out, may well be your attitude, emotions, deliberations, or other internal state, as your transcendence approaches most closely. The one thing most important to you, not to your family members or friends but instead to you, may be how you feel as your earthly end nears.
Reckoning
The mystery of passing may not press you too hard when you believe that you still have weeks to deliberate. But as the moment approaches, you may come to a reckoning for which you’d rather have prepared. If you have not thoroughly considered what you should think, grasp, and hold most dear in your final moments, then you may find yourself grasping at straws and wind rather than the things most reassuring and secure. You won’t necessarily know in advance, but your final moments before passing into the great beyond may confront you with what you believe is true and eternal. If so, you’d surely prefer to have a clear, sound, and reliable answer. So yes, expect a reckoning at your very end. And have your firm response to that reckoning. Keep your humblest confession in mind and your strongest assurance that the Lord’s sacrifice and resurrection is your path to your own resurrection. You must hold onto the historical fact and spiritual truth that the Lord defeated death for you, if you’ll only accept and profess your need for his victory.
Attack
Although one seldom knows the enemy’s wiles, the mystery of your passing may include the enemy’s attack. The enemy’s attack won’t be by hastening the course of the disease or condition that brings you to your earthly end. Because again, the Lord gives you victory over death. Instead, the enemy’s only opportunity is to steal from you that victory, by preventing your confession while sowing despair through doubt. Your struggle at the very end, if you have one, will not be bodily but instead spiritual. Your body no longer means anything to your eternal future. Your soul, spirit, and faith are the things that you must instead guard and preserve. Yet you need not have the strength or power to do so because you have the Spirit’s strength and power within you instead. Do not worry in the least over your spiritual strength because with the Spirit’s indwelling, you have all the strength you need. Whatever form the attack may take, either from a faithless relative or other visitor, a deceptive dream or vision, or dark whispers of doubt in the depths of your night, turn not to your head knowledge or other feeble understanding but instead to the Lord for your defense.
Accounts
We can largely only speculate on the specific experience of death. Those who experience it do not return to recount it. History records many accounts of near-death experiences, where individuals thought to have died, and even having been declared dead under medical standards, instead survive. Those accounts include revelations of what the revived individuals experienced. One finds some commonality among those accounts but also great differences. Accounts include what one might expect from traditional descriptions of transcendent life after earthly death, things such as leaving the body to move swiftly upward, accompanied by divine beings, into the presence of a great light shining from the eternal creator. Some accounts describe significantly greater heartening detail. If those accounts encourage you, then seek them out for their reassurance. But don’t let them misguide or discourage you. If they are factual rather than fictionalized or mythologized accounts, they may still be only or primarily for the person who experienced them. Transcendence may also not be something that one can factually describe, as the authors of some of these accounts admit. Rely on the scriptures, letting the Spirit interpret them to you in the way most fitting to you and your circumstances.
Imagining
While the accounts, fiction, or speculation of others may or may not inform or help you, and you should be on your guard against untrustworthy guides, you may find yourself pursuing your own imaginings. You may have your own ideas, images, dreams, or visions of your transcendence. You may picture yourself in the arms or presence of the Lord, in the wonderful place that he has prepared for you in heaven. You may even anticipate relief, reunions, and other delights, as you originally and uniquely imagine them. If your imaginings give you peace and assurance, then hold onto them. They may be the Spirit’s gifts for you for that purpose. If they escort you into the Lord’s presence, then the Spirit’s gifts will have served their gracious and comforting purpose. Don’t deny yourself fruitful imaginings, although don’t pursue false hopes grounded on anything other than the solid foundation of your confession of need and your full reliance on the Lord’s resurrection.
Dreams
Again, anyone’s passing holds such mystery that we cannot reliably know or predict. But the moment of your departure may include a dream or be dreamlike. Indeed, you may experience a series of dreams leading up to your passing. Dreams are peculiar phenomena, at various times likely having physiological, psychological, and spiritual dimensions. Whatever dreams you have leading up to your final demise or at its moment may not have any import but instead just relate to relatively random and largely physiological brain processes. Dreams may simply reflect a natural reorganization of electrical and chemical activities and anatomical structures. Yet they can also carry meaning or spur insights. Accept them, if your dreams confirm your scriptural understanding and even reveal encouraging details of what you may experience consistent with that understanding. Reject them if they don’t. Dreams may be tools of either angels or demons.
Visions
First-hand accounts exist of visions beheld or experienced around the moment of a passing. The account opening this chapter relates one such instance, known only among a few and only locally. The scriptures share accounts of angels appearing, singly or in legions, actually or in visions. Indeed, the scriptures relate elaborate visions of much more of the divine sphere, including the risen Lord himself, than simply the divine entities that inhabit the transcendent realm. You may, if you wish, hope for a vision or even a divine visitation. You would not be the first, nor the last. But you would be fortunate in the extreme, presuming that your vision foreshadows or invites your imminent transcendence. Accept any such vision that confirms the scriptures, while firmly denying any contrary vision. You may not control your vision, but your response to it may be significant to the course of your transcendence.
Reliance
As repeatedly indicated above, whatever else you do in envisioning and preparing for your moment of passing and its immediate aftermath, rely on the scriptures that promise you eternal life in your good confession. When the Lord told the thief dying on the cross next to him that the thief would that day be with the Lord in paradise following the thief’s trusting confession, the Lord gave you reliable words about what your own earnest confession brings. Other scripture passages offer similar assurances. The only control that you may have in the course of your transcendence is the spare will you exercise to accept or reject your Savior. The only significant error you might make in that course would be to deny the truth, power, and gracious offer arising out of your Savior’s resurrection. Hold fast to the end, whether the end involves dreams, visions, appearances, or only imaginings.
Consciousness
While it’s speculative to say, because of the mystery of the event and that none return to recount it, the specific experience of death likely differs with each person, their mental and physical health, and their disease or other condition and circumstances. The specific experience of death may also differ with one’s character, spirit, and experiences. Keep in mind, though, that you may very likely not be conscious of your last living moments. Sleep, mental decline and incompetence, coma, general anesthesia, or some other natural or artificially induced state may well have removed your consciousness at the time of your last earthly moment. If you fear a conscious struggle to breathe and survive in your last moments, know that hospice personnel may closely attend to your mental comfort in your last earthly moments, including, if necessary, inducing your restful mental state. Communicate your concerns to your hospice care team to ensure that they attend diligently to your wishes. Do not unnecessarily picture your last moment as a painful or fearful struggle. It is very unlikely to be so, especially with appropriate palliative and hospice care.
Departure
To answer this chapter’s opening question directly, the end of your earthly life will involve your instant passing from natural life to transcendent life, not the utter cessation of your entire being. Only your natural body ceases to function. Your spiritual body awaits you. As an earlier chapter already indicated, people hold differing views, drawn from scripture, on whether and for how long your soul passes through an interim state before you receive your resurrected body. But when you receive your resurrected body, it will come in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye. And your resurrected body will be pain free, powerful, glorious, and imperishable. Do not regret giving up your earthly body for your resurrected body. Your heavenly body will likely be more than you could ever imagine.
Reflection
Do you feel mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared for your passing? Do you fear a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual struggle? If so, consult your hospice care team. If you experienced a last-minute sense of needing to reckon with your demise, how would you do so? If you experienced a last-minute attack of doubt or despair, how would you respond? Do you believe any account that you may have read or heard having to do with the experience of passing from earth to heaven? Do you have your own imagination having to do with passing or heaven? Is your imagination consistent with what you know of the scriptures? Consult your pastor with questions. Are you experiencing dreams or seeing visions of heaven? How should you respond if you do?
Key Points
Do not unnecessarily fear the final moment of your passing.
Instead, prepare for your final moment by holding fast to your rescue.
We each face a reckoning in our transition from earthly life to heaven.
Face the enemy’s attack in your last moments by relying on the Lord.
Accounts of passing, while necessarily speculative, tend toward glory.
Accept your imagination of passing to the extent scripture supports it.
Beware any dreams other than those that confirm scripture.
Also beware any visions other than those that confirm scripture.
Rely instead on the scriptures for your understanding of passing.
Hospice care may prevent any fearful conscious struggle at passing.
Your final moment involves passing from your earthly body to heaven.