5 How Should I Think of My Demise?
When she finally laid her head on the pillow late at night after a long and tiring but rich day of homemaking, Olivia liked nothing more than to think of heaven. Olivia didn’t know what other people thought of heaven. But to Olivia, heaven somehow seemed far more real, vivid, and exciting than earth. Olivia hadn’t received a vision or had a dream of heaven. She didn’t even know the source of her wondrous impression of the transcendent realm, other than spare scriptural passages and forgotten references from songs and sermons. All that Olivia knew was that her impression of heaven brought her a peace and joy that even the riches of a good home life could not surpass.
Choices
We have a wide range of choices as to what we should think of our demise. We could, for instance, think of the months, weeks, or days leading up to it, whether those might be in advancing disease or simply sheer decline and the various ministrations and lamentations that might go along with it. Or we could, for another example, think of the last minutes and seconds leading up to our passing, whether in painful struggle or other desperate straits, or instead in sheer weakness, lapsing consciousness, or deep sedation. Yet we could alternatively think of the first few minutes and hours after our passing when, faith firmly in place, we are suddenly in the Lord’s effusively warm and exhilarating embrace. We could even think, as the above illustration intimates, of the eternity beyond, when we are in highest spirit and adventure. But we might also think of the family members, friends, and other loved ones who, and the blessings or challenges that, we will leave behind. We have these and likely several other choices to contemplate. Consider a few of them below.
Decline
Who hasn’t thought at least briefly about one’s own final decline, like bringing a plane in for landing and wondering just how bumpy that landing might be? It’s a fair subject. If whenever you think of the subject, you think of a long, slow, and painful demise, then consider doing something about it. Consider working on your mental and physical health. Overall, the better your health, the better chance you have of physical and mental capacity, fewer health complications, and even better pain management leading up to your passing. Get in shape, whatever better shape you can. Small improvements can make big differences in outcomes. If your fear is of prolonged and invasive medical treatment, then draft a thoughtful advance medical directive giving your most-trusted family member or friend the power to carry out your wishes limiting treatment. It’s alright to think of your decline, but do something about it if it worries you. And don’t overthink things. We generally have no idea of our departure route.
Passing
One could say the same thing about the last moment before our passing, that we generally have no idea of when and how that moment will play out. Here too, though, you may have more control over that moment than you first think. If, for instance, your ideal would be to have loved ones with you, then speak with them about your preference, and when the time nears, encourage them to make whatever arrangements that they might be willing and able to make. They might even ask the same of you, given that we seldom know the order of our passing. Expressing that bond of a mutual commitment, likely already implied but worth mentioning if it would help you, may draw you and your loved ones even closer. If you have other preferences, such as the place at home of your final hours, consider expressing those preferences to your caretakers. They may be able to plan arrangements or, if not, plan some helpful substitutes like bringing things from home. If instead you fear pain or anxiety in final moments of passing, then share that concern with hospice staff whose commitment is to your physical, mental, and spiritual comfort. They’ll know how to ease your mind. As with thinking about your decline, it’s alright to think about your final moments of passing, especially when you can do something about them. You might even think of the love you’d hope to express.
Welcome
It’s alright, too, to think about your first moments after passing, when you think about your own demise. Indeed, you have everything to recommend it. To be absent from the body, the scriptures say, is to be present with the Lord. When Christ told the confessing thief dying on the cross next to him that he would that day be with him in paradise, Christ was responding to the thief’s express request for that reassurance. You thus have your answer if you, too, need that reassurance. You may accept instead the tradition of soul sleep before joining the Lord, but then rest in that reassurance of sleep. Take the apostle Paul’s reassurance that nothing, death expressly included along with demons, power, the present, and the future, can separate you from the love of Christ Jesus. Death has no hold on you when you are in Christ Jesus. So, you may indeed do well to think less of your days and hours immediately before your demise, while thinking more of your hours and days immediately afterward. To live is Christ, but to die is gain. While we do not hasten our death but instead complete our service here on earth, we know that we are far better off after having joined him. Don’t hesitate to dwell on the glory of joining Christ. That glory may be your solace. That glory is your reward.
Enjoyment
It’s alright, too, to think about your future in the transcendent realm, when you think about your own demise. Don’t let the question of your mental and physical state in the transcendent realm trouble you. Don’t doubt that you will have your own mind and body in the transcendent realm, albeit transformed after the nature of the realm. The apostle Paul answers that concern by sharing significant detail regarding our resurrected bodies. Your resurrected body won’t be mortal like your earthly body but instead imperishable. It won’t be broken like your earthly body but instead glorious. It won’t be weak but instead powerful. And it will have a spiritual rather than fleshly nature, suffused with rather than apart from your own soul. As you bear your human image here, you will bear your heavenly image there. You will be you rather than some other person or some sort of shared and conglomerate entity. You will also be free from pain and perfectly filled in the Lord’s own presence. Your surroundings will be spectacular, for your eternal enjoyment. How far you elaborate these thoughts, and in what direction, is largely up to you. Just don’t hesitate to dwell on them.
Relief
It’s alright, too, to think of your presence in the transcendent realm as providing you complete relief from whatever challenges or troubles you endure in your earthly circumstances. Our earthly existence at times brings excruciating loss, burden, and pain, so much so that we can barely endure it. The earth at times so crushes the body and soul that we have no remaining capacity to enjoy it. Especially as one nears one’s demise, illness and mental and physical decline can rob us of our senses. The scriptural revelation of the transcendent realm is, by contrast, that you will have no more death, sorrow, crying, or pain. Your burdens will be gone, eliminated. You will instead be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually free to enjoy the transcendent realm as a spectacular place of resplendent beauty. Whenever you bear terrible mental, physical, and relational burdens here, don’t hesitate to look forward to their complete relief in the transcendent realm you anticipate and toward which you direct yourself. Think often of your complete relief in heaven.
Continuous
It is indeed alright to think frequently or even continuously of the transcendent realm. Our better orientation is upward toward the transcendent rather than downward toward the material and mundane. The scriptures encourage us to keep our hearts and minds on things above rather than on earthly things. We live planted in the material and mundane. But we gain our humanity and divinity by looking upward to the transcendent realm and forward to our glorious place in it. Desiring and contemplating transcendence enables us to form, lead, and nourish our families, and create and sustain society with its uniting norms. When we do not have transcendence in our hearts and minds, we become brutes in narcissistic competition for survival of the fittest. We can do no better than to think continuously of heaven because heaven supplies the world with pattern, beauty, truth, and meaning, and supplies us with hearts for love and minds for the life of Christ. Don’t hesitate to think often and freely of your coming life in heaven. Thinking now of heaven then draws heaven down now for better life on earth. And in the final coming, heaven and earth will reunite.
Separation
Some who think of their coming life in heaven think of joining loved ones who have already departed for heaven. Some who think of their coming life in heaven also think of their separation from loved ones left behind here. Don’t hesitate to think of both the pleasure of joining loved ones in heaven and the loss of leaving loved ones behind here. Thinking of joining loved ones in heaven may help keep your orientation upward where it belongs, keeping your spirit strong to its earthly end. Thinking of loved ones left behind here may draw you closer to them and help you express your love for them as long as you are here. Your orientation toward heaven may also enlarge your grace and patience toward your loved ones here. Don’t, though, unduly mourn your anticipated separation from loved ones left behind here. Your separation is only temporary, and you will have no such tears in heaven. And while your loved ones here may well mourn your departure, having lost the comfort and reassurance of your presence, they will rejoice at your transcendence and know that they will soon join you above.
Lost
You may also think, though, of loved ones whom your transcendence will leave behind, whom you fear may not join you in heaven. It’s alright to think about that concern, too, as long as you do something about it. Share your concern with those loved ones. Tell them why you have that concern and what they can do to help relieve you of that concern. And then pray for them. Don’t let your fear that they will not join you in heaven unduly burden you. You do not know the condition of another’s soul nor the actions they may take in their remaining time on earth after your departure. Instead, turn the burden of potential loss into prayer and action. Your prayer and actions spurred out of your burden may be the agent of their salvation.
Reflection
How often do you think of your demise? When you do think of your demise, on what aspect of it do you focus? Do you worry about your disease and disability in your last decline? Can you improve your diet, exercise, and other health habits to make a painful decline less likely? Do you worry about your last moments before passing? If so, what are your concerns, and how can you address them? Do you think of your first moments after passing? Are you confident that the Lord will embrace you in paradise the day of your passing? If not, see your pastor to ensure that you have that opportunity. Do you think of the relieved and transformed condition of your body in heaven? What do you think of heaven itself? Do you have mental images of its splendor? What activities do you anticipate enjoying in heaven? Whom do you hope to see again in heaven, among the already departed? Whom do you hope to see again in heaven, among those you expect to leave behind on earth? If you are concerned over not having family members or friends join you in heaven, pray for them and speak to them about it.
Key Points
We have a wide range of ways to think about our coming life in heaven.
Work on your health if you worry about your decline before death.
Have a medical directive and rely on hospice if worried about passing.
Think confidently and joyfully of your coming welcome into heaven.
Dwell often and freely on how enjoyable heaven will be for you.
Heaven will bring you complete relief from pain and heartache.
Thinking continuously of heaven may improve your life on earth.
Your separation from loved ones will be temporary, not permanent.
Continue to pray for the lost that they, too, may join you in heaven.